I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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