There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
