you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
