i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
