her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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