IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
