He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
