Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
