I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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