You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.