I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.