I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
