You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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