Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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