Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish i was in the wii world.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He did a backflip because drugs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
