the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
