There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
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Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.