I'm an idiot
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here