Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If that was your dad, he is hot

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  (843): If that was your dad, he is hot http://tfl.nu/drkt
  Replies (8) Good night (1181) Bad night (681)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.

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  (843): THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in (843): Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine. http://tfl.nu/rmt2
  Replies (5) Good night (738) Bad night (2571)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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  (504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life http://tfl.nu/kko9
  Replies (21) Good night (6819) Bad night (1440)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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  (720): I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn. http://tfl.nu/6oei
  Replies (8) Good night (2746) Bad night (740)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.

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  (734): similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well. http://tfl.nu/7lvz
  Replies (143) Good night (4437) Bad night (955)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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  (847): We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty. http://tfl.nu/2pem
  Replies (13) Good night (3647) Bad night (1014)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

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  (501): Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog. http://tfl.nu/8mg1
  Replies (18) Good night (10623) Bad night (2205)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You're like the curious george of whores

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  (512): You're like the curious george of whores http://tfl.nu/l01l
  Replies (5) Good night (3652) Bad night (916)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.

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  (860): could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper. http://tfl.nu/svv9
  Replies (12) Good night (1447) Bad night (2764)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.

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  (540): Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/c8hf
  Replies (7) Good night (1668) Bad night (728)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1628) Bad night (771)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20

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  (585): Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20 http://tfl.nu/5k8j
  Replies (12) Good night (2337) Bad night (636)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.

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  (828): She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle. http://tfl.nu/0ke0
  Replies (3) Good night (386) Bad night (927)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Little bit of both

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  (519): True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior (226): Little bit of both http://tfl.nu/0xgz
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (393)
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  (530): View more from California

  I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good

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  (530): I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good http://tfl.nu/srj5
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (210)

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