Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is