Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
