Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Darwin at his finest.

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  (571): You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest. http://tfl.nu/rqsd
  Replies (25) Good night (5997) Bad night (1335)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

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  (252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed
  Replies (56) Good night (2167) Bad night (9821)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No promises.

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  (773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw
  Replies (33) Good night (5662) Bad night (1113)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.

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  (484): Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/6dfu
  Replies (25) Good night (7413) Bad night (1258)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.

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  (864): just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring. http://tfl.nu/qf1b
  Replies (7) Good night (3671) Bad night (1138)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.

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  (863): Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all. http://tfl.nu/glyl
  Replies (27) Good night (5007) Bad night (1893)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has

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  (519): She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has http://tfl.nu/fgce
  Replies (14) Good night (3668) Bad night (888)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.

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  (306): The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious. http://tfl.nu/pkyz
  Replies (32) Good night (2034) Bad night (687)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?

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  (906): 2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night? http://tfl.nu/07lp
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (463)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The student becomes the teacher.

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  (816): It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar. (314): The student becomes the teacher. http://tfl.nu/thu8
  Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (516)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.

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  (541): Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways. http://tfl.nu/r7l2
  Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (483)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.

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  (937): It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick. http://tfl.nu/017k
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (528)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

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  (516): He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. http://tfl.nu/ta05
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (446)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my entire left arm went numb

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms

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  (615): my entire left arm went numb (1-615): you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms http://tfl.nu/7l90
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (377)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going

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  (757): Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going http://tfl.nu/lq75
  Replies (0) Good night (259) Bad night (611)

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