she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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