i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
