It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
