i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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