these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
