what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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