After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
