I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
