he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
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he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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