Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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