remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
