Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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