Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
