I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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