I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
