dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
