Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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