How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
