No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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