i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
