You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
