Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
