Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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