So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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