question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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