he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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