You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize