AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
