Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
