margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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