Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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