just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize