He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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