I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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