I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize