yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
