We're facebook friends in real life
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize