He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
