i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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