this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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