im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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