You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize