my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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