Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
